| September 3rd, 2004 |
[Sep. 3rd, 2005|12:10 pm] |
One year ago....
...I can't believe its already been a year. |
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| stolen from Lesley... |
[Apr. 2nd, 2005|02:17 pm] |
this was the first movie James and I went to see together
Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone.
-the notebook |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 14th, 2005|10:38 pm] |
Andrew Largeman: You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your shit that idea of home is gone.
Sam: I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew Largeman: You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 26th, 2004|12:54 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Death Cab for Cutie // Transatlanticism | ] |
what happened to the girl who loved to write all the time...?
..i seem to have no thoughts anymore.
my sister thinks im a bad person. she'll probably read this, and respond to this, or maybe just talk to me sometime this weekend. but either way.. she doesnt trust me or believe me anymore.
i love my boyfriend more than i ever thought i would. ..or could.. i want to have no restrictions in my life that stop me from spending every second with him.
ive been thinking a lot recently about vacations.. get aways. past and hopeful future ones.
school is not looking promising.. and it makes me want to give up.
i want to write more, cause when i write more, i have more thoughts, and i learn more about myself. i dont care who reads it.. of if anyone does. i want to write for myself, but i can never bring myself to write.
im done with this. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2004|04:11 pm] |
i had something to talk about today.. but i forgot. i always think of things as im in class.. but i cant write in class. so all of my thoughts just go away. then i have nothing to write about here.. thats what my problem is.
ill remember soon... and post it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 15th, 2004|03:00 pm] |
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maybe its time for me to start writing again... or try to. |
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| I will always remember you, Jimmy. |
[Sep. 5th, 2004|12:58 am] |
Sarah McLachlan - Angel
Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memories seep from my veins
let me be empty
oh and weightless then maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you feel
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lies
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe
in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
In the arms of the angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you feel
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
listening to this song... while looking at pictures of Jimmy when he was happiest. ...not a good mix.
Rest in Peace Jimmy Yang. We all love you and we miss you terribly. You will not be forgotten, and our prayers are with you and your family. It wasn't your time Jimmy... You were too young. My thoughts are with you always. |
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| im bored.. |
[Aug. 30th, 2004|12:56 am] |
there are so many! ...do it.
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Have we ever had sex?
33. Do you miss me?
34. Do you think i miss you?
35. Are you going to put this on your MYSPACE and see what I say about you? |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 22nd, 2004|03:28 am] |
im getting really annoyed with some people as of late. like.. i want them to stop with it all. i wont go into detail cause i dont know who reads my journal. and i wouldnt want this person to be upset. but yeah.. UGH. i dont know why but it annoys me soooo much and i just want to like.. make this person go away.. cause yeah. ok. someone might know who im talking about. but i do not know.
i wish i could express to this person how i feel also.. but im afraid i'll hurt them. and i dont want to be a mean person. cause that'd be mean. but i need them to stop cause im going crazy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 22nd, 2004|03:20 am] |
"I realize now that the only way to be a success is to be content with your own success..."
...I'll go to a UC ..I'm determined. But if I don't.. I'm ok with that too.
PICTURES SOON TO COME |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 5th, 2004|10:52 pm] |
LESLEY AND ANTHONY ARE MY BESTEST FRIENDS!!!
i love you guys!! |
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| this was kind of an odd conversation i had here with mas... |
[Aug. 5th, 2004|05:22 pm] |
MasFy: how do you feel abotu a pool filled with jello?
DumBlonde521: what color?
MasFy: blue
DumBlonde521: hmm..
DumBlonde521: yes.. that'd work
MasFy: what about lime
DumBlonde521: lime brings up bad memories
DumBlonde521: gape would be good
DumBlonde521: do they have grape jello?
MasFy: how do you think the general population would feel about lime?
MasFy: i dont know
MasFy: i know they have banana jello
MasFy: which is weird
MasFy: i dont see why they wouldnt have grape
DumBlonde521: well.. generally.. lime might be the best
MasFy: did you know salt lake city is the number one consumer of lime jello in the continently US
DumBlonde521: hmm i wonder why
MasFy: i dunno
MasFy: i dont think john smitch declrared it or anything
MasFy: but it just happens to be that way
DumBlonde521: which flavor would u prefer?
MasFy: i was thinkin cherry
DumBlonde521: nice choice
MasFy: i was thinkin all that red might look pretty with the light on and everything
DumBlonde521: mhmm
DumBlonde521: yes
MasFy: hahah
MasFy: soo funny
DumBlonde521: i just like grape jello so i'd swim in it.. and eat it at the same time
MasFy: i really wanna do it
MasFy: i was thinkin
MasFy: throw a part
MasFy: but fill a lil inflatable pool with jello
MasFy: haha
DumBlonde521: haha
DumBlonde521: invite a bunch of people
DumBlonde521: and everyone has to bring jello
DumBlonde521: the same kind tho
DumBlonde521: ..dont mix the jellos
MasFy: mixing might be cool
MasFy: I GO IT
MasFy: GOT IT
MasFy: ok ok ok
DumBlonde521: it'd end up looking gross
MasFy: you fill the bottom with lime let it solidify then do the top with cherry
MasFy: GREAT!!!!
DumBlonde521: woah
DumBlonde521: nice
DumBlonde521: wait
DumBlonde521: thats a whole lot of jello tho
MasFy: mm hm
DumBlonde521: doesnt it have to be refridgerated?
DumBlonde521: u should just dump a while bunch in
MasFy: well im going to experiment now
DumBlonde521: and mix it up
DumBlonde521: so its in chunks
MasFy: i have to find out
DumBlonde521: ok
MasFy: if i follow through youre invited
MasFy: hahah
DumBlonde521: thank you
MasFy: in fact ill just leave it on your lawn
DumBlonde521: ill be sure to bring some
DumBlonde521: haha
MasFy: haha there will be this 5 foot circle of jello on your lawn
MasFy: hahaha
MasFy: THATS A GOOD IDEA!!!
DumBlonde521: ahaha
MasFy: screw toilet papering
MasFy: IM JELLOING
DumBlonde521: hahaha
MasFy: i think by chilling jello your just speeding up the coagulation process
MasFy: i think you can go without
DumBlonde521: oh ok
MasFy: hmm......
MasFy is away at 5:11:12 PM. |
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| i got back from europe last night.. |
[Aug. 1st, 2004|04:47 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | europe band music | ] |
i never want to forget that trip.. so why cant i bring myself to write about it?
its been almost 48 hours and im going crazy not being able to see these people i spent every hour of the last 16 days with.
I miss Europe..
I miss Kevin
I miss Bobbi
I miss Rita
I miss Anthony (even tho hes in diamond bar with me)
I miss James
I miss Ran
I miss Alicia
reunion!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2004|10:28 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | yellowcard // empty apartment | ] |
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| i miss my freinds from school!! ...please hang out with me |
[Jul. 4th, 2004|05:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Death Cab for Cutie // The New Year | ] |
im changing that number of friends journals i read from 3 to 7.. i rediscovered some very lovely people. and i want to read more about their lives.
..and thanks for the advice.. im commenting on their stuff too.
live long.
and have a happy 4th of July. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 4th, 2004|12:43 am] |
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so once u've checked the 3 journals of ur friends that u care to read about... whats left to do? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2004|06:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pessimistic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | New Amsterdams // Hanging on for Hope | ] |
i figured out why i dont write very often...
...its cause i dont want people to know what im feeling.. my thoughts.. either i think/know what i think is stupid or i have.. selfish thoughts.. i duno. cant explain it really..
..its like.. i feel vulnerable.
today kinda sucked. woke up early.. not a good day for waking up early. i cant fall asleep early.. so that means im getting barely any sleep. and then working hard. i really wish i woulda gone out to lunch with anthony and cheth and prolly aaron. i didnt enjoy going home too much. i jus wanna be away.
my mom really has a way with words... when shes telling me im not stupid.. shes also telling me what i did was stupid. apparently.. im gonna be going to mt sac.. and only mt sac will accept me for college. yay me.
shes also not allowing me to go to sherwins graduation party. bad for sherwin to have it on fathers day.. but my family doesnt even do anything for fathers day.. so why do i have to sit at home.. in my room alone.. on fathers day instead of seeing all my friends who are going away to college.
...stupid i think.
today wasnt a very good day. im missing something. i need that something to cheer me up.. i need something to make me happy.. but then we get back to where we started... with me not wanting to share my thoughts. so...
later. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2004|03:21 pm] |
i like being happy <3
LESLEY! ...wanna go see Saved? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 8th, 2004|02:40 am] |
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sigh.. i think i need to give up on some things.... |
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